Tag Archives: sex

Guestblog: How much is that girly in the window? – Part 1

4 Mar

Courtesy of an anonymous friend, because we all know I can’t write blogs worth reading all the time. ;)

This is completely paraphrased and I can’t even tell you which of my friends originally said it, but it went something like this: There’s no such thing as a gateway drug. If you drink or do drugs, then you have made the decision to BE a person who drinks or does drugs. People, American people, too often are caught up in the minutia of the different negative connotations of abusing their bodies one way or another and attach their own version of righteousness or rationalize it however they want. The fact remains, you are fucking with your chemistry to achieve a certain effect.

How do you think this applies to sex? (more…)

Guestblog: To all you broads that don’t put out

26 Jan

unhappy-couple-6

Usually I try to stay out of my dude friends’ business; they tend to date the most insane girls ever and for the most part I let them because after three weeks they clue in & dump ‘em. Except one of my friends didn’t clue in, and I asked him to write about it a bit now that they’ve had a messy breakup laced with internet drama and an airing of each other’s dirty laundry. Which means of course I invited him to air his frustrations via my blog, because that’s what friends do!

Right?

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Have you fucked a 10?

14 Dec

Here’s a hard question for most people to answer honestly: based on looks alone, where would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10? In my opinion, there’s only two types of answers: the overly modest or the overly kind. For example; a hot girl will make sad eyes while confessing she’s a five, and the goofy-looking dude doesn’t bat an eye about giving himself a nine. Here’s a video sent to me via Twitter on the topic:

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The great lube debate

6 May

While talking with a male friend of mine he revealed to me he has never owned a bottle of lube. This is concerning to me, because I would think as a sexually active person you would keep a bottle (or four) around “just in case” a situation arose when you actually needed it. Upon further discussion I realized maybe people out there don’t know which lubes to buy–after all, there’s a lot of brands out there. They all are made for the same general purpose in mind but what really meets your needs is entirely different.

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Quotable Quotes #1

2 Dec

I’m on a roll this week for being quotable apparently. Here’s some gems!

- (in reference to my refusal to use/purchase an iPhone) “If I wanted to use a touchscreen, I would’ve gotten a job at fucking McDonald’s.”

- Some dude: “How do you get into the headspace for modeling anywho?”
Me: “I just take a lot of x, do a few lines and then think about all the unprotected sex I plan on having once I get done shooting… that gets me so riled up I make good sex face.”

- Some dude #2: “Julene doesn’t like anything except PBR and unprotected sex.”
Me: “No, I like weed too!”
Me: “And barely legal dudes!”

- “I know how to bully girls into doing what I want, in case I ever decide to pursue rape as a hobby”

- [Julene] 12:29 pm: dear farhaad
[Julene] 12:29 pm: i know where your mom lives
[Some Dude] 12:29 pm: hahah
[Julene] 12:29 pm: don’t you start too
[Julene] 12:29 pm: i will kill you.
[Julene] 12:29 pm: and make your mom cook me dinner after.

**These were only altered to fix spelling and punctuation errors so you don’t think everyone I talk to online is dyslexic. Like what I have to do for Jimmy James, among my many other ‘handi-capable’ friends.

I miss videoblogging

7 Nov

No really, I do. Watch my 4am shenanigans from summer 2007 on my YouTube account. Here’s the last one I posted towards the end of January if you feel like wasting almost 10 minutes of your life.

There’s a pretty swanky webcam on my Amazon wishlist. It’s the Logitech Quickcam 9000 which sounds more like a sex toy from the future than a cam for shooting amateur porn, but I’m not one to split hairs.

You know, since my birthday’s on Monday and clearly I’d rather sit at home making pointless videos about nothing than go spend all my money on drugs & hookers.

Sidenote: Madison and Brian Street Team will be at my place in a few hours so we can commence the celebration of her official move to Los Angeles. Watch out Hollywood, we might cause a bit of a scene.