ickis.com / Julene Horowitz

I’ve never been one of those girls that wants to talk about her ‘cycle’ on the internet. It’s unnecessary, it’s a little gross (as far as conversation topics go) and honestly… I’m a big girl and I can handle it.

WARNING: This post talks about a portion of the female reproductive system’s purpose that I would not usually discuss on the internet. This is not a gross story, but if you’re one of “those guys” that read my blog and want to pretend that those 5-7 days out of the month don’t happen… well, don’t read the rest of this. (more…)

When I first met Jess, I paid more attention to her clearly thrifted button up than I did her face. It was lightweight and cute, and it matched the fact that this was the kind of girl to wear Velcro Pumas regardless of the rest of her outfit. A late 20′s neo-hippie type. We made idle conversation and smoked weed, had lunch, talked. She wasn’t a pretty girl unless you meant it in an Ani Difranco kind of way, but she was interesting and her smile was nice. My obsession with teeth goes deep.

Waiting for a delivery in the front of the building, we start talking about college – I tell her I didn’t graduate because I think college is for chumps. She smiles, but doesn’t say anything until I finish up my three sentence thought on the topic. She’s back from Chile after teaching children English there for the past year, following receiving her Bachelor’s degree.

Someone has a degree, and someone else has her foot in her mouth – both of them, actually. I like her more for not taking offense and letting the conversation continue to flow. We talk tattoos, or rather, she asks me about mine. She’s quick to compliment, lightly touching when it’s not awkward. My baby crush begins to swell, but over the next few weeks I only see her in passing or when taking a quick smoke break behind the building.

(more…)

Courtesy of an anonymous friend, because we all know I can’t write blogs worth reading all the time. ;)

This is completely paraphrased and I can’t even tell you which of my friends originally said it, but it went something like this: There’s no such thing as a gateway drug. If you drink or do drugs, then you have made the decision to BE a person who drinks or does drugs. People, American people, too often are caught up in the minutia of the different negative connotations of abusing their bodies one way or another and attach their own version of righteousness or rationalize it however they want. The fact remains, you are fucking with your chemistry to achieve a certain effect.

How do you think this applies to sex? (more…)

Usually I try to stay out of my dude friends’ business; they tend to date the most insane girls ever and for the most part I let them because after three weeks they clue in & dump ‘em. Except one of my friends didn’t clue in, and I asked him to write about it a bit now that they’ve had a messy breakup laced with internet drama and an airing of each other’s dirty laundry. Which means of course I invited him to air his frustrations via my blog, because that’s what friends do!

Right?

(more…)

Here’s a hard question for most people to answer honestly: based on looks alone, where would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10? In my opinion, there’s only two types of answers: the overly modest or the overly kind. For example; a hot girl will make sad eyes while confessing she’s a five, and the goofy-looking dude doesn’t bat an eye about giving himself a nine. Here’s a video sent to me via Twitter on the topic:

(more…)

Though I haven’t been keeping you updated, I’ve still been foraying into the dangerous and hilarious world of internet dating. I have to say there’s one thing I’m tired of: meeting for drinks. I’m sorry guys it’s been done, it impairs my judgment, and I feel really strongly about drinking & driving. I’m pretty sure just about every girl on the internet is sick of this being the go-to date of choice. Here’s my list of alternatives that do not suck, and might get you laid for being so “creative”. You’re welcome in advance. (more…)