The Cosmic Law of the Internet dictates that whenever I post about something on my blog, a relevant internet incident must occur shortly thereafter. A few hours after my post about Facebook ruining friendships went up, someone I went to high school decided to try to get reckless via Facebook chat. Lately I haven’t been posting much stuff like this because really, it’s not that funny anymore. Except I know at some point a few years ago I posted about this dude on here, except last time he was doing this on Myspace. So really, this is just a prime opportunity to showcase the progression of trolling on the internet today. (That sounded convincing, right?) Enjoy!
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M—: lets do it,,,,,, please\
Me: are you drunk?
M—: no, but i think u are a lesbien
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA. no, i love men
M—: well love this stick
Me: WOW. don’t you live in iowa?
M—: maybe baby…… but i also maybe at a suite in town…… maybe
Me: oh that’s romantic
M—: yeah, and i have shoes. something that homeless people arent use too
Me: that’s what i’ve heard, i wouldn’t know
M—: so lets grab a drink, than fuck
Me: tempting as that may be, i don’t think you could hang
M—: not only could i hang, i would win….. I dont even like jesus!!!! thats how ill this nigga is\
Me: don’t you have like 1000 farm honkey broads that’re all about you and your expensive things?
M—: of course…… but its iowa. I dont sleep with chicks that weigh over 125. and that is a slim approch to the media
Me: you realize i weigh more than 125 right?
[extended pause]
M—: prolly not by much
Me: this is where you backpedal, FYI
M—: back pedal is what n******s do…I didnt make the rules…. I dont make em; and i dont brake em
Me: so… racism and propositioning me like a hooker for a suite meetup? you’re just hitting home runs left & right, bud.
M—: yeah, and i am not very partial to latinos either
Me: …how long have you been single m—?
M—: 26 years
And the next day:
- M—: sexy time?
Me: you’re doing this again?
M—: no, i just think its kinda funny
Me: do you just sit at home and troll on girls via fb? be honest.
M—: no. I just like to hit up chicks from my past and see if they want to chop. divide and conquer
Me: oh m—, the closest to chopping we will ever come is that one time you ordered pizza and we watched football.
M—: thats gay
Me: i don’t dwell in the past
M—: neither do i. but, we still should. but your like a girl liker now
Me: i won’t sleep with you so i must be gay, eh? interesting approach.
M—: i am out of sweet words
Me: color me surprised.
What mostly concerned me about these exchanges is that I’m sure this has worked at least once before in the past, on someone my age.
The only thing I changed about his text was certain choice words, so the atrocious spelling & punctuation errors are his own.
Not that it’s original (or even all that funny) to pick on people for lack of control when using a keyboard… but it sure is easy!