Some people have big questions. They tend to be about the meaning of life and love, but I already know the ‘answers’ to those questions are subjective and really pointless to try to discover. This means that all my trivial questions and idle ponderings hold far greater importance, at least in my mind.
Like most of us, I muse to myself about pointless shit a lot. You want to know what I think about at 4am when the internet is boring and serious life problems seem pointless to dwell on? Here you go…
Is it possible for people to find something else to hate on aside from Starbucks, hipsters, and whatever current social tragedy (see: Katrina, Trinidad, BP oil spill, etc)?
We all know that Starbucks brews with beans roasted en masse (read: quantity over quality), that hipsters look like they got dressed in the dark, and it sucks when bad things happen. I get it, you get it — can the internet stop rehashing these same facts for me dozens of times daily? If I know something to be true, a constant reminder numbs me out to the whole topic.
Are we, as a nation, capable of putting our “first world problems” in perspective? (Short version: this tweet.)
For example, I recently switched car insurance companies -but stayed with the same agent. For months I have had problems with them trying to contact me via exceedingly outdated contact information, even though I’d updated it will them innumerable times. Recently I got a called them because they were more than 2 weeks late with the EFT. As I was whining (in my head, never aloud!) I made it through the thought “my insurance agency is incompetent” before i paused. This is a first world problem, it doesn’t need to get under my skin.
Are peep toe ankle boots going to maintain popularity for a while?
Since they actually stay on my incredibly slender footsies, I’d like multiple pairs… assuming I won’t look like a tool wearing them because something else is cool now that I missed. Like this whole high-heeled clogs that are supposed to be worn with socks thing. Just because you see it on the runways doesn’t mean it’s the right way to go with your footwear, ladies.
Has catcalling from your car ever resulted in an actual hookup?
Rarely do I get catcalled on the street, but when I do I’m forced to wonder if the dude in the passenger seat actually thinks this approach working out for him. Sure, girls will humor you to a point–but we do that at the bar if we think there’s free drinks in doing so. (It doesn’t count if she was a hooker, by the way.)
When did I become the last kid with nice teeth?
I’m sorry, but I remember how many of us had braces. Did you assholes stop wearing your retainers and then quit brushing shortly after high school? One thing people consistently compliment me on is these pearly whites, which I used to think was the lamest positive thing you could say to a person. Obviously, upon further reflection I will accept all compliments on my oral hygiene *pause* people feel like throwing my way.
More questions when I have the time, an open Word document and nothing of interest in my Netflix Instant queue…