A few weeks back I found this: 8 reasons to move on from a relationship/dating experience. However, the list seemed to be missing a few key points I wind up bringing up when counseling my female friends about the lame dudes they go out with. I’m posting my additions here for all of you ladies (and fellas) that need to clue in about when to say fuck it & search for Mr. Right elsewhere.
1. If he doesn’t call without you having to ask, move on.
Jesus this is so true. I hate the “who’s going to call/text/IM to initiate hanging out” game–it’s awkward and frankly, after high school these types of power games need to end. More importantly, why should you have to ask someone to call?
2. If he doesn’t text/call you at a reasonable hour, move on.
Huzzah! I wish I could get more of my girlfriends to understand that if you’re only hearing from a dude at 2am, it’s because he’s only got one thing on his mind at that hour. Trust me, it isn’t what hilarious insight you give about your day before he tries to cram his hands down your pants.
3. If you’re telling him everything about your life and he’s not telling you anything about his, move on.
I understand having pieces of your life you don’t address until you’re comfortable with someone… but if he knows your life story & is being shady about his own, that’s a red flag you should not ignore.
4. If he doesn’t remember anything you say, move on.
Portions of long-winded conversations are forgivable – the fact he can’t remember if you have any living relatives is not. This is one of those “use common sense, not sympathetic sense” types of situations.
5. If he continues to talk to a girl that’s not his best friend even after you’ve expressed your discomfort towards the whole situation, move on.
I think it goes without saying that this is under certain circumstances, and only applicable when there is some type of dual-sided romantic tension.
6. If he’s an asshole to those in the service industry, move on.
Nothing is more appalling than a man mistreating a waitress/gas station attendant/etc. unnecessarily. Be polite, over-tip when the service is good. I remember boys in younger years being mean to people in an attempt to impress the people around them. Let me assure you that kind of behavior does not produce the same results in adulthood.
Gentlemen, make note of this. You have no idea how many second dates I didn’t go on after watching my date mistreat our cocktail server, bartender, or taxi cab driver.
7. If he’s unwilling to deal with your baggage, move on.
Up to a point, I agree. Once high school is over the baggage accumulates and the fact is, everyone’s got some. However if any chick rolls up with several steamer trunks, roll-alongs and multiple hand-held bags you boys should be jumping ship.
8. If there is no chemistry, move on.
Hello, this is a no-brainer! It’s also the one thing I was constantly having to explain myself for doing. You don’t think all those guys I met just mysteriously quit being interesting, do you? I wasn’t feeling it.
Those were the original eight… but it wouldn’t be like me not to include at least a few more of my own creation.
9. If he isn’t good to his mother, move on.
In my mind, this is the best way to see how a guy treats women in his life… especially in the long term. I’m talking about guys that blow off their mother’s repeated calls/texts/emails, speak ill of them, or talk down to their mom in front of you. Generally a guy that isn’t good to his mother isn’t going to be good to you, either. (Case in point.) Now, there are exceptions to this rule but we’re not talking about someone who’s mother beat them and locked them in closets throughout their childhood.
Of all the signs that a dude is a total jerkoff that girls ignore, I think this one is the most common.
10. If he doesn’t do the little manner-related things all ladies love (holding the door, letting you order first at meals) move on.
Guess what, people with manners are awesome! Men that say please, thank you, and hold your door are out there–don’t waste your time with someone who treats you like one of the bros. This is more about him taking into account that you are a lady and he should treat you as such than him being old-fashioned. Besides, this is a nice way to crawl inside a dude’s head and allows you to speculate about them potentially having a *gasp* normal, healthy upbringing.
11. If he always has to have the last bite–be it of dinner, dessert, or popcorn at the movie theater–move on.
I’m not saying he should be letting you have the last bite all the time – but he should offer it on a regular basis. Men that are considerate when it comes to the little things like the last bite are also more likely to find meeting your needs in other departments *ahem* of importance.
12. If all the things he offers to do consist of imbibing vices to make up for your virtues, move on.
Drunks are boring. No, I don’t want to go to the bar every time we go out. I don’t care if it’s the first thing we do or the last thing we do… it seems to be the only thing people my age do. BORING!
Besides, there’s something to be said for guys that have more going on than just a schedule of bar appearances they feel obligated to make nightly. Movies, dinner, drawing inappropriate pictures with sidewalk chalk? That’s the shit movie moments are made of… not round eight at his local watering hole.
13. If he doesn’t brush his teeth, clean his ears, and pay attention to the length of his nose hairs… move on.
While every girl I can think of has dated at least one absentminded professor type, at this modern age of appearance meaning everything there is no excuse to be gross. Guess how many third dates I avoided after realizing someone hadn’t taken a q-tip to his waxy buildup for at least a few weeks?
Let me be clear: I’m not saying you should only seek out crazy metrosexuals with consistently well-groomed coifs and weekly manicure/pedicure appointments. But if a dude can’t be bothered to clean up a bit before taking you out, can you imagine what yummy smells/flavors might be waiting for you at the end of the rainbow later? (Trust me, I can and none of them make me want to say ‘aahh’.)
That’s it folks. Bottom line? Use some G.D. common sense.