Though I haven’t been keeping you updated, I’ve still been foraying into the dangerous and hilarious world of internet dating. I have to say there’s one thing I’m tired of: meeting for drinks. I’m sorry guys it’s been done, it impairs my judgment, and I feel really strongly about drinking & driving. I’m pretty sure just about every girl on the internet is sick of this being the go-to date of choice. Here’s my list of alternatives that do not suck, and might get you laid for being so “creative”. You’re welcome in advance.
- Invoke you & your date’s sense of childhood wonder with a trip to the planetarium. If you’re suffering from back pain, had shoulder surgery, or are otherwise entitled to do so… smoke a joint first. (Maybe buy your tickets prior to the smoking though, so nobody gets paranoid.) Go to the latest show they offer and maybe you can do some soul/mouth searching while looking at the stars. This is a date I still haven’t been on because my birthday date flaked. It’s also the best idea I’ve ever had, and I am determined to go with someone who will want to make out after.
- Determined to involve booze with your outing? Fine. Purchase some shooters of peppermint Schnapp’s. Bring them along on a date that will be spent judging someone’s intellect and ability to hold a conversation–like wandering around in a park/open space without any particular agenda. My apologies in advance as this idea is sort-of cutesy and has a little Christmas feel in there (sorry, Jew friends). Find a nearby Starbucks & get hot cocoa. Add the peppermint Shnapp’s you purchased earlier. If you’re straight-edge, I’d say go the creme de menthe route except that’s just dumb.
- If the idea of drinking Shnapp’s doesn’t grab you, why not go for wine instead? Pick up a bottle of something relatively inexpensive and go to a park. Or better yet, see if there’s any kind of wine tasting going on in your area. You don’t have to be living in the Napa Valley to enjoy a wine tasting. Plus, some chicks will misinterpret your interest in wine as a hidden way to tell if you are “cultured”. Bonus points!
- Museums are a good date for people you actually enjoy being around and conversing with… one top of one other big bonus: there’s no time limit. Probably not a good first date just because it’s too awesome to waste on just anyone.
And don’t you worry your pretty little heads – I have more e-dates I really did go on to talk about, too.