Monthly Archives: December 2009

Dear Fashion Industry: I’m not fooled

NOT NEWS: Chicks want to be skinny. We want to be skinny because we see photos of flawlessly airbrushed broads in magazines, on billboards, and in men’s dirty photo folders on their desktops. We diet, hit the gym and whine about our figures via Twitter because I think women have been collectively told one thing

Ancient history

Julene, originally uploaded by Richie The Baumer. I realize I’ve been slacking on posting photos of myself, something which my vanity tells me you all desire. Here’s a photo of me looking ridiculous back in June when I met up with Richie for lunch. Check out those browzzzzzz, right?

Christmas fuels my anxiety

As a kid I remember the week leading up to Christmas bordering on painful. No school meant plenty of time around not only my immediate family, but anyone coming in from out of town. I’d practically salivate looking at packages under the tree and it quickly became a family tradition for us to open one

‘Tis the season for sweater parties

Dear John, I love your sweater, Merry Christmas. xoxo, Julene

Have you fucked a 10?

Here’s a hard question for most people to answer honestly: based on looks alone, where would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10? In my opinion, there’s only two types of answers: the overly modest or the overly kind. For example; a hot girl will make sad eyes while confessing she’s a five, and

E-Dating #12: Do people flirt via Internet fight?

The problem with me and internet dating is that I am really picky. To save myself & everyone reading my profile some time, I recently added a listing of people who shouldn’t waste their time messaging me. Don’t worry, I finessed the shit out of the way I wrote it out in my profiles. Or

Hairocaust 2009 :(

There’s been a lot of bad hair decisions over the past few years of my life. The newest one has me strongly resembling Lydia from Beetlejuice, no? I’m doomed to looking like a not-as-thin Winona Ryder. Eff.