It’s been mentioned on several occasions that my e-dating has been a huge fail. Trust me folks, I am aware of the shortcomings of my internet dating experiences. I think at this point it’s fair to say I need to give up on the internet, and just build my own boyfriend.
You think I’m joking? Here’s what nearly $7,000 can get me.
For starters, I get to choose my ideal male’s body type. I’ve never been into overly ripped guys, so let’s start with option B.
With three options for the facial structure I’m having a really hard time picking one. After all, they all have a bit too much going on with how square their jaw is. Don’t worry, I eventually settled on “Michael”, considering he looks the least mentally challenged out of the bunch.
Add in fair skin, because I’m not sure which of the other options to select… along with gray eyes and no “hair stubble” and it looks like I’m well on my way to the perfect man. I even get to choose that my ideal boyfriend will never have facial hair. I am so excited to never feel like my face has been thoroughly abused by sandpaper again! But that’s not all! Oh hell no, there’s even further specifications to be made my friends!
I mean, how often does a girl get to choose what size penis she wants her man to have? I’m going to pick up one of the large option (I get to be a superficial jerk now and again too, guys) but I will definitely make sure it’s the detachable version in case I have a downsized–or upsized!–day in the near future. No point in making my fully customizable man stuck with a penis of my choosing forever!
Taking it a step further, I would prefer to have my man complete with some neatly trimmed brunette pubic hair. $100 extra dollars well spent, I say!
For another $75 extra I can throw on hair in style M02 (translation: scenester-hipster chic styling) and viola!
My dream boyfriend is now a reality! The total cost of this babe is a mere $6,674 USD. Shipping is free, that’s a $500 savings! So I think my real question is, how much overtime am I going to have to put in somewhere to make sure I never need “real” man again? (And we’re using that term loosely, for the moment.)