My fully customized $7,000 boyfriend
2 Jul
It’s been mentioned on several occasions that my e-dating has been a huge fail. Trust me folks, I am aware of the shortcomings of my internet dating experiences. I think at this point it’s fair to say I need to give up on the internet, and just build my own boyfriend.
You think I’m joking? Here’s what nearly $7,000 can get me.
For starters, I get to choose my ideal male’s body type. I’ve never been into overly ripped guys, so let’s start with option B.
With three options for the facial structure I’m having a really hard time picking one. After all, they all have a bit too much going on with how square their jaw is. Don’t worry, I eventually settled on “Michael”, considering he looks the least mentally challenged out of the bunch.
Add in fair skin, because I’m not sure which of the other options to select… along with gray eyes and no “hair stubble” and it looks like I’m well on my way to the perfect man. I even get to choose that my ideal boyfriend will never have facial hair. I am so excited to never feel like my face has been thoroughly abused by sandpaper again! But that’s not all! Oh hell no, there’s even further specifications to be made my friends!
I mean, how often does a girl get to choose what size penis she wants her man to have? I’m going to pick up one of the large option (I get to be a superficial jerk now and again too, guys) but I will definitely make sure it’s the detachable version in case I have a downsized–or upsized!–day in the near future. No point in making my fully customizable man stuck with a penis of my choosing forever!
Taking it a step further, I would prefer to have my man complete with some neatly trimmed brunette pubic hair. $100 extra dollars well spent, I say!
For another $75 extra I can throw on hair in style M02 (translation: scenester-hipster chic styling) and viola!
My dream boyfriend is now a reality! The total cost of this babe is a mere $6,674 USD. Shipping is free, that’s a $500 savings! So I think my real question is, how much overtime am I going to have to put in somewhere to make sure I never need “real” man again? (And we’re using that term loosely, for the moment.)
I’m pretty sure for that price you could get John Mayer to play a concert in your vagina.
girl you can date me for free though! and I come complete with a variety of strap on dicks!
Don’t tempt me…
I think I remember seeing this guy on an HBO show a few years back. I think your face choice looks a bit like one of the guys from Memphis May Fire, Jeremy the drummer (or maybe a little like Rob Lowe) I bet if you drag him to the beach as your beach buddy, you could use him as a flotation device, but you might want to get the flaccid penis too so people don’t stare when he is in his suit unless you want a place to hang your beach towel. Unfortunately I see by your choices here that I am everything (except in one respect) you are not looking for in a companion. Bummer.
You’re making a good point, Ms. NYC.
Go play around with those dolls and tell me they meet anyone’s standards. Unfortunately I just needed some comedic material… we all know I don’t have $7k to blow on a dude!
im confused is this like areal doll and why does your real doll have scene kid hair and who would pay for a limp flacid dick this site has confused me more than any other ever.
rent out your perfect man to others to help pay for him
just make sure you put him in the dishwasher afterward…
LOL
They all look like that guy from Team America.
is that so wrong?
actually i’m unsure if the important bits are dishwasher safe. looks like i need to write a letter to the manufacturer…
Would his face look like this? http://www.morphthing.com/celebrity/16139233
Oh, so you picked me. :p
how many inches exactly is the “small” attachment…im frighten by how familiar it looks
According to the website’s size chart… shaft itself is 4-1/2″. If you recognize this cock, best to look for an upgraded sized model.