You know… the average person fools around with a few people they wish they hadn’t. Might as well make your pain everyone’s humorously shared pleasure by submitting to sorry-mom.com. I can’t wait for the angry emails that are going to ensue when certain males find themselves on that site. Sorry boyz, it’s all fair in love & war… right?
But I figured you guys might get some LULZ (not LOLZ, as I covered previously) if I shared with you a few sweet gems from the men that I’ve dated. No names or photos, but hilarious photos courtesy of Google image search with suffice.
 |
Nothing like a woman annoyed by your small-fry (topped with childish antics) to rat you out on SorryMom! |
| Once upon a time I thought seriously tortured yet brilliant souls were deep & exciting. That was fun until the voices in his head told him that I had to go… but we could still bang while he was in hot pursuit of a new girlfriend. Seriously, I cannot make shit like this up. |  |
 |
It’s one thing to know your hood-style boyfriend has been arrested before. It’s quite another to have to watch him get arrested at 8am for multiple felonies in your PJ’s. Thanks for that sweet day of dealing with the sheriff’s office and bail bondsmen, dude. |
| I don’t know what your speech impediment was technically considered, but hearing you call me your “wittew swut pwincess” once was more than enough. |  |
 |
I didn’t think I needed to card guys I met in bars… apparently I thought wrong. He was forced to reveal his true age (17) when he realized he had forgotten his fake ID he was going to use to buy himself a pack of cigarettes. Astounded, I told him he needed to catch a ride home from the Starbucks I was about to abandon him at. His mom rolled up in her mini-van about 10 minutes later. |
| I woke up and realized that the lisp you had the night before was not, in fact, a joke. Live and learn, I guess. |  |
There’s a small smackeral of SM-qualified shorts I’m sure amused at least a few of you. I am seriously obsessed with that site. The kind of money and advertising power “Mom” now has at her fingertips is absolutely amazing. It just goes to show what the internet can allow you to do once you find a “need” that nobody had previously addressed. Actually, I remember a site from quite a few years ago called dontdatehimgirl.com that was a very similar premise, except it was like a Myspace profile and there was no big black bar to protect the potentially not-so-innocent. I think I prefer the newer, shorter version to be honest. I think the real question is how many of you have found either yourselves or someone you know on this site?