Listen… just because I’m sleazy doesn’t mean I’m easy. If you’re going to flirt with me, be prepared to be shot down. Or at least wind up with our conversation posted on my blog. No hard feelin’s!
- FailFlirt9000: can we make out next time i come to LA?
FailFlirt9000: if i cut my hair?
Me: no.
FailFlirt9000: what if i take you on a date?
Me: you stuck your dick between my friend’s boobs
Me: that makes you neuter in my book; you’re like a ken doll
FailFlirt9000: you cant prove that
Me: this isn’t court
FailFlirt9000: friends share!
FailFlirt9000: you dont think im kinda cute?
Me: you’re not my type
FailFlirt9000: is your type guys who havent touched your friend boobs with their dick?
FailFlirt9000: whats your type?
Me: normal dudes?
Me: bros!
FailFlirt9000: i work out and watch football
FailFlirt9000: i played laccross in the 8th grade!
Me: you can’t like… convince me you’re my type
Me: it doesn’t work that way
[awkward silence]
FailFlirt9000: haha
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.