FFD #7: Trent Lane

I know you saw the title of this post and you had no fucking idea who I was talking about. That’s because technically Trent Lane isn’t real, doesn’t have a penis, and only a particular age-group of MTV original programming junkies would ever have even been exposed to this lanky musician-type.

Trent was (is?) the typical type of guy I wanted to date in high school; someone’s burn-out older brother that lives at home, drives a shitty beat up car that sings and plays lead guitar in garage band that will constantly be changing their name that while aware of my romantic intentions for years, it would never be made clear whether he reciprocated them to any degree.

Oh don’t mind me wanting to bone not one but now two non-existent persons based on cartoons from my childhood. Actually I have to admit I have a pretty long-standing “no musicians” rule in my life, and I’m pretty sure if this dude were to show up on my doorstep I’d stick to it. Sorry Jacob Dylan look-alike, that’s just the way it’s got to be.